Defensiveness:

  • Stops us from truly listening to our mate;
  • Protects us from feeling vulnerable or fragile; 
  • Prevents us from receiving critical information;
  • Inhibits our growth; 
  • Builds a wall between us and our mate.

Let’s consider the value of tearing down the wall of defensiveness. What happens when couples agree to truly listen and learn from their mate?

Non-defensive Listening:

  • Honors our mate, sending a message that we value what they have to say;
  • Creates an environment for open, honest sharing;
  • Promotes an attitude of receptivity and learning; 
  • Leads to personal and relational growth:
  • Encourages personal and relational healing.

For as powerful as non-defensive listening is, it’s often very hard to do. We have strong desires to look good, protect our ego and assign blame…

What can we do to open the channels of communication?…

Read more from Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recover Center , by clicking this link for the full article.

Authentic Christian Living team

Authentic Christian Living team

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