There are days when we need reminders on how to love well. We often post encouragement and hope on our support marriage Facebook page. Here are some that we have recently posted. Keep them nearby as a reminder or Pin them to your pinterest so you can see them again.
1. Be the person you want to be married to.
This came from a simple idea similar to the golden rule. We all have expectations of others. Often these lead to disappointment. The truth is, it isn’t logical to be mad at another for something they never agreed to. Often our expectations are not only not something our spouse agreed to, but we haven’t even communicated it! Instead of building up expectations of the other, lets be awesome DOERS of love and BE the kind of person that YOU would want to be married to.
2. If you can’t be kind, be quiet.
What a wonderful habit to get into. Proverbs 12:18 says, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” When you begin to pray and ask God to change your thoughts and how you see your spouse, you will notice that your words to them also begin to change. Let’s build up our marriages. Become an expert in the strengths of your spouse.
3. Your love should drive your spouse closer to Christ.
Is your sport and encouragement bringing your spouse toward Christ? Or do you push them away from Him?
It can be little things like wanting to watch movies or TV shows that push us away from God – or it could be our attitude and mood…there are so many ways we can pull one another away from the Lord. Seek to find ways to be a light to your spouse and gently show them the light of Jesus.
4. Covenant Love
The love you share with your spouse, isn’t like any other kind of love. It isn’t the same as brotherly love, or friendship, or romance – there is some of all of those kinds of love within it… but it is so much more. Covenant love isn’t dependent on the other person. Once we make a vow – that is our word to our spouse, and it is not based on their actions, feelings, mood, health… etc.
Covenant love says “I will, even when you won’t.” It says “I do, even if you don’t.” Covenant love is beautiful and powerful and a glimpse at the way God is faithful to us.
1 Corinthians 13:4 – Bible
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
5. To have and to hold… Forever
Did you say something like this to your spouse: “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.”
Take some time and write out your vows to your spouse again. Put them somewhere that you will see them often and renew the promise in your heart.
6. Walking together for a lifetime
God made Eve from Adam’s rib. He put her by his side. Adam is not in front of Eve, nor is he behind her, rather God intended Adam to walk alongside Eve. Yes, Adam is to gently lead Eve and take responsibility for their family. God called men to lead our families as a way to give order to the home (anything with 2 heads is a monster.) It isn’t about men being more important or more valuable- it is about order. The same way that order is needed in the military, you can’t say that a soldier is less important than a captain…both are needed and valued! However, we need order and headship provides that order in our families.
7. Speak my love language
What is your the love language that your spouse needs from you? Learn to speak their love languages (most of us have 2 primary). You should be an expert in how they receive and give love, take the time to learn them…
8. Be a moment maker – create lasting memories together
When we take the time to plan memorable trips & special dates. Say all the things that you would wish you had said if you lost your chance. Be a great moment creator. It takes planning, effort and prioritizing.
9. Be wise in choosing who you you listen to.
Counseling is a great source of help during troubled times, however be sure to ask your counselor if they believe in divorce. Unless you hear an emphatic “no” keep looking. We hear countless stories of couples who have made it through the hardest of times.
Please Pin any of these posts that you need help remembering in your own life.